Charmin Ultra Soft: that’s right – toilet paper.

I wipe a lot of butts.

In fact, if you want to get all math-y, I wipe 75 per cent of the bums in my household.

We haven’t been totally brand loyal when it’s come to toilet paper, but we don’t just buy the cheapest stuff on the shelf either. No – I don’t mind spending a few extra bucks to make the butt-wiping experience as pleasing as possible for all involved.

Until recently, I’ve never bought the Charmin brand. It’s not that the weird bears in the commercials freak me out (OK, maybe a little). I just…haven’t.

And then I was invited to the P&G Mom kick-off event at the Four Seasons in downtown Toronto. After a long drive in rush-hour traffic, I immediately popped into the washroom when I arrived.

(This is going to get personal right about here, so if you’re feeling a tad sensitive, I suggest you just skip the next paragraph.)

I’ve never had an “experience” with toilet paper before. Typically, I do my business, wipe and go. But the first thing I tweeted from the event was that the Four Seasons had the best toilet paper on the planet. It was the softest, smoothest, glide-iest TP that has ever graced my, well, you know. It didn’t even occur to me at the time that the smarty-pants public relations firm who helped put together the event replaced the hotel’s standard paper with Charmin – one of P&G’s many brands. Smart.

Only later did I overhear someone say it was Charmin and I asked one of the PR reps to please tell me exactly what I should be buying from now on. I didn’t even care how much spendier it might be – this was toilet paper I needed to have in my home.

It was Charmin Ultra Soft. Turns out it isn’t even three-ply.

THE GOOD

Basically the best wiping experience you may ever have. Period.

No inks, dyes or perfumes, which people with sensitive skin will appreciate.

Charmin is really no more expensive than any of the other name brands – especially if you keep watching for sales and use the P&G brandSAVER coupons.

It also turns out that the Charmin folks are freakin’ hilarious – though this has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of its TP. If you appreciate a good public washroom, the company has created an app you’re going to love: Sit or Squat. Not only will it locate all of the closest public WCs based on your location, but it also offers ratings of each of them – rated by people like you and me. Funny. Useful. Brilliant.

THE GAFFE

This is not your earth-friendly TP brand (although P&G is actually making some notable strides on the enviro front). Have you ever used recycled toilet paper? I have – many times. It will not – ever – feel as good as a roll of Charmin Ultra Soft. I often refer to myself as “half-crunchy” and when it comes to toilet paper, I am not going to be pleasing any of my extremist environmentalist friends. There’s simply no comparison for a young child’s tender bottom (and the wipe after wipe after wipe after wipe required following a No. 2). But you need to follow your conscience.

THE GEARS

4.5/5

So…where can you buy it?

• Loblaw banner stores like Loblaws and Real Canadian Superstore (client)
• Well.ca
• Walmart

DISCLOSURE: I am a #PGmom. Although I am affiliated with P&G, my thoughts and opinions expressed on this blog are absolutely my own. I only cover the products in which I believe. As with all Mommy Gearest reviews, I am never provided with compensation.

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